I just decided that I should start writing. So here I am, writing! I really don't know what I am going to be writing about, but I decided to give it a shot anyways. So what am I going to write about? Just random stuff about myself.
While I was working for digit magazine back in India in 2010, I realized that writing is enjoyable and I should do it often. It was fun and kept me going. I may not be good at it but it is something, rather the only thing (apart from belly dancing!) that, when I did, I did not think of anything else.
I do have a habit of formulating a plan in my mind. This is an ongoing process, so if the plan did not get executed, the schedule changes immediately. More so, like an np hard scheduling problem (feel free to ignore this part). Most of the times, my planning is unreasonable, it does meet deadlines in my mind which makes me cut myself some slack, sit back and relax, but it is actually something, even Einstein wouldn't have been able to keep up with. I also have a habit of losing focus. Thoughts in my mind are like fumes, intense but dying to escape.
Or rather I would say, I am a computer science graduate student, who doesn't have much time to lose but somehow lets it fall through the cracks. Focus is something that comes to me easily, if I love doing it for myself, the minute it becomes something that receives a grade, it goes away. That is when these thoughts resurface. For instance, the minute somebody tells me that they are going to pay me for a blog, I won't be able to write it. How do I change that?
So I came up with a couple of strategies to get rid of this issue. Firstly, getting it etched in my mind that I am doing this just for myself and not for a grade, appreciation, applause, criticism or anything in return. But this, gets counter balanced by the fact that I am human and that I need all the things I just mentioned. The other strategy was, think about the grade and start soon after the particular task was assigned. And yes, when I said a couple, i meant exactly a couple.
So basically, all I need to do is to treat my mind like a 5-year-old mind. Tell her that you need the grade and start early and then tell her, "forget the grade little one! you keep doing what your doing,only because you love it and not because you want anything in return ;)". And we all know, how easy that is!!!
